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Juffrou vra Jannie om sy eie gedig voor te lees.

Jannie: “Ek staan op die wal van Kaap Aghulas, die water plots so teen my ballas.”

Juffrou: “Ekskuus?”

Jannie: “Ek staan op die wal van Kaap Aghulas, die water plots so teen my ballas.”

Juffrou: “Jou onbeskofte klein donner, prinsipaal toe met jou!!!”

By die prinsipaal aangekom sê juffrou: “Sê gou vir meneer daai gediggie van jou.”

Jannie: “Ek staan op die wal van Kaap Aghulas, die water plots so teen my knieë.”

Juffrou: “Dis nie wat jy vroeër gesê het nie.”

Jannie: “Vroeër was dit high-tide juffrou”

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Die baas wil Blondie se wiskunde toets..

Baas: ‘As ek vir jou 5 miljoen rand gee, minus 10%, hoeveel trek jy af?’

Blondie: ‘Alles, Meneer! Skoene, rok, bra, pantie – ALLES !!!’

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Jennifer’s wedding day was fast approaching. Nothing could dampen her excitement – not even her parent’s nasty divorce.

Her mother had found the PERFECT dress to wear, and would be the best-dressed mother-of-the-bride ever!

A week later, Jennifer was horrified to learn that her father’s new, young wife had bought the exact same dress as her mother!

Jennifer asked her father’s new young wife to exchange it, but she refused. “Absolutely not! I look like a million bucks in this dress, and I’m wearing it,” she replied.

Jennifer told her mother who graciously said, ”Never mind sweetheart. I’ll get another dress. After all, it’s your special day.”

A few days later, they went shopping, and did find another gorgeous dress for her mother.

When they stopped for lunch, Jennifer asked her mother, ”Aren’t you going to return the other dress? You really don’t have another occasion where you could wear it.”

Her mother just smiled and replied, ”Of course I do, dear…..I’m wearing it to the rehearsal dinner the night BEFORE the wedding.”

(NOW I ASK YOU – IS THERE A WOMAN OUT THERE, ANYWHERE, WHO WOULDN’T ENJOY THIS STORY?)

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A lady goes to her priest one day and tells him, ‘Father, I have a problem.

I have two female parrots,

But they only know to say one thing’

‘What do they say?’ the priest asked.

They say, ‘Hi, we’re hookers! Do you want to have some fun?’

‘That’s obscene!’ the priest exclaimed,

Then he thought for a moment……

‘You know,’ he said, ‘I may have a solution to your problem. I have two male talking parrots, which I have taught to pray and read the Bible…

Bring your two parrots over to my house, and we’ll put them in the cage with Francis and Peter.

My parrots can teach your parrots to pray and worship, And your parrots are sure to stop saying… That phrase… In no time.’

‘Thank you,’ the woman responded, ‘this may very well be the solution.’

The next day, She brought her female parrots to the priest’s house…. As he ushered her in, She saw that his two male parrots were inside their cage holding rosary beads and praying..

Impressed, She walked over and placed her parrots in with them…

After a few minutes, The female parrots cried out in unison:

Hi, we’re hookers! Do you want to have some fun?’

There was stunned silence…

One male parrot looked over at the other male parrot and says,

‘Put the beads away, Frank, Our prayers have been answered!

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The FBI had an opening for an assassin.

After all the background checks, interviews And testing were done, there were 3 finalists; Two men and a woman.

For the final test, the FBI agents took one of The men to a large metal door and handed Him a gun.

‘We must know that you will follow your Instructions no matter what the circumstances.

Inside the room you will find your wife sitting In a chair .. . . Kill her!!’

The man said, ‘You can’t be serious. I could Never shoot my wife.’

The agent said, ‘Then you’re not the right man For this job. Take your wife and go home.’

The second man was given the same instructions. He took the gun and went into the room. All was Quiet for a bout 5 minutes.

The man came out with tears in his eyes, ‘I tried, But I can’t kill my wife.’ The agent said, ‘You don’t Have what it takes. Take your wife and go home.’

Finally, it was the woman’s turn. She was given the Same instructions, to kill her husband. She took the Gun and went into the room. Shots were heard, one After another. They heard screaming, crashing, Banging on the walls. After a few minutes, all was Quiet. The door opened slowly and there stood the Woman, wiping the sweat from her brow.

‘Damn gun is loaded with blanks’ she said. ‘I had to Beat him to death with the chair.’

MORAL:
Women are crazy. Don’t mess with them

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