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A lady goes to her priest one day and tells him, ‘Father, I have a problem.

I have two female parrots,

But they only know to say one thing’

‘What do they say?’ the priest asked.

They say, ‘Hi, we’re hookers! Do you want to have some fun?’

‘That’s obscene!’ the priest exclaimed,

Then he thought for a moment……

‘You know,’ he said, ‘I may have a solution to your problem. I have two male talking parrots, which I have taught to pray and read the Bible…

Bring your two parrots over to my house, and we’ll put them in the cage with Francis and Peter.

My parrots can teach your parrots to pray and worship, And your parrots are sure to stop saying… That phrase… In no time.’

‘Thank you,’ the woman responded, ‘this may very well be the solution.’

The next day, She brought her female parrots to the priest’s house…. As he ushered her in, She saw that his two male parrots were inside their cage holding rosary beads and praying..

Impressed, She walked over and placed her parrots in with them…

After a few minutes, The female parrots cried out in unison:

Hi, we’re hookers! Do you want to have some fun?’

There was stunned silence…

One male parrot looked over at the other male parrot and says,

‘Put the beads away, Frank, Our prayers have been answered!

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Little lucy wants to take Lulu her pet dog for a walk.

“Mommy , Mommy, Can I please take Lulu for a walk?”

“But she is on heat my darling”

“What does that mean?”

“I think you should go and ask your father, he is in the garage”

Little Lucy goes to her father.

“Daddy , Daddy, Can I please take lulu for a walk?” “I asked mommy ,but she said Lulu is on heat, I asked her what does that mean and she said I must come ask you.”

The father takes the dog and covers the dog in petrol

“Ok my dear you can take her for a walk, but make sure to keep her on the leash and only go around the block once”

The little girl now excited runs of with the dog

The little girl shortly returns with no dog

The father asks “Where is Lulu!?”

The little girl replies ” Oh don’t worry, half way around the block Lulu ran out of petrol so another dog is pushing her home!”

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The big bad wolf said..

“I’ll huff and I’ll puff and I’ll blow your house down!”.

The little pig said…….

“Fuck off or I’ll sneeze on you!”.

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This Joke is a bit rough, I wouldn't want some innocent kid reading this, so please....

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The only cow in a small Karoo town stopped giving milk.

The people did some research and found that they could buy a cow in Bloemfontein for R200.

They brought the cow from Bloemfontein and the cow was wonderful. It produced lots of milk all of the time, and the people were very happy.

They decided to acquire a bull to mate with the cow to produce more cows like it. They would never have to worry about their milk supply again.

They bought the bull and put it in the pasture with their beloved cow. However, whenever the bull tried to mount the cow, the cow would move away.

No matter what approach the bull tried, the cow would move away from the bull and he could not succeed in his quest. The people were very upset and decided to ask the Vet, who was very wise, what to do.

They told the Vet what was happening. “Whenever the bull tries to mount our cow, she moves away. If he approaches from the back, she moves forward. When he approaches her from the front, she backs off. An attempt from the side, she walks away to the other side.”

The Vet thought about this for a minute and asked, “Did you by chance, buy this cow in Bloemfontein ?”

The people were dumbfounded, since no one had ever mentioned where they bought the cow. “You are truly a wise Vet,” they said.

“How did you know we got the cow in Bloemfontein ?”

The Vet replied with a distant look in his eye, “My wife is from Bloemfontein .”

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