A South African is sitting at a bar in New York City and looks at his watch several times in the space of a few minutes.
The woman sitting nearby notices this and asks, “Is your date running late?”
“No,” he replies, “I have this state-of-the-art watch. I was just testing it.”
The intrigued woman says, “A state-of-the-art watch? What’s so special about it?”
The South African explains, “It uses alpha waves to talk to me telepathically.”
The lady says, “What’s it telling you now?”
“Well, it says you’re not wearing any panties.”
The woman giggles and replies, “Well it must be broken because I am wearing panties!”
The South African smirks, taps his watch and says, “Bloody things running about an hour fast,- can I buy you a drink?
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Returning home from work, a blonde was shocked to find her house ransacked and burglarized. She telephoned the police at once and reported the crime. The police dispatcher broadcast the call on the radio, and a K-9 unit, patrolling nearby, was the first to respond.
As the K-9 officer approached the house with his dog on a leash, the blonde ran out on the porch, shuddered at the sight of the cop and his dog, then sat down on the steps.
Putting her face in her hands, she moaned, “I come home to find all my possessions stolen. I call the police for help, and what do they do? They send me a BLIND policeman!”
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A blonde suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her, so she goes out and buys a gun. She goes to his apartment unexpectedly and when she opens the door she finds him in the arms of a redhead. Well, the blonde is really angry. She opens her purse to take out the gun, and as she does so, she is overcome with grief. She takes the gun and puts it to her head.
The boyfriend yells, “No, honey, don’t do it!!!”
The blonde replies, “Shut up, you’re next!”
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A blonde was having financial difficulties and decides that she has to take some serious action, so she goes to the park and kidnaps a young boy and writes a ransom note, “I have kidnapped your son. Leave $10,000 behind the old elm tree and your son will come to no harm”, she pins the note inside the boys jacket and sends him home.Next day sure enough there was $10,000 behind the tree and with it a note saying, “I cant believe one blonde would do this to another blonde”.
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A blonde went to eletronic store and she asked, “How is much is this TV?” The salesman said, “Sorry, we don’t sell to blondes.” The next day she came back as a brunette. She asked the salesman how much the TV was. He said, “Sorry, we don’t sell to blondes.” The next day she came back as a red head and asked the salesman how much the TV was. He said, “Sorry we don’t sell to blondes.” She replied, “I came in here as a brunette and a red head. How do you know I am a blonde?”
“Because that is not a TV, it’s a microwave.”
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