Little lucy wants to take Lulu her pet dog for a walk.
“Mommy , Mommy, Can I please take Lulu for a walk?”
“But she is on heat my darling”
“What does that mean?”
“I think you should go and ask your father, he is in the garage”
Little Lucy goes to her father.
“Daddy , Daddy, Can I please take lulu for a walk?” “I asked mommy ,but she said Lulu is on heat, I asked her what does that mean and she said I must come ask you.”
The father takes the dog and covers the dog in petrol
“Ok my dear you can take her for a walk, but make sure to keep her on the leash and only go around the block once”
The little girl now excited runs of with the dog
The little girl shortly returns with no dog
The father asks “Where is Lulu!?”
The little girl replies ” Oh don’t worry, half way around the block Lulu ran out of petrol so another dog is pushing her home!”
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A quickie in the bushes
There are two statues in a park; one of a nude man and one of a nude woman. They had been facing each other across a pathway for a hundred years, when one day an angel comes down from the sky and, with a single gesture, brings the two to life..
The angel tells them, ‘As a reward for being so patient through a hundred blazing summers and dismal winters, you have been given life for thirty Minutes to do what you’ve wished to do the most.’
He looks at her, she looks at him, and they go running behind the shrubbery.
The angel waits patiently as the bushes rustle and giggling ensues. After fifteen minutes, the two return, out of breath and laughing.
The angel tells them, ‘Um, you have fifteen minutes left, would you care to do it again?’
He asks her ‘Shall we?’ She eagerly replies, ‘Oh, yes, let’s! But let’s change positions. This time, I’ll hold the pigeon down and you shit on its head.’
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Daddy, How was I born?
A little boy goes to his father and asks “Daddy, how was I born?”
The father answers, Well, son, I guess one day you will need to find out anyway! Your Mum and I first got together in a chat room on Yahoo.
Then I set up a date via email with your Mum and we met at a cyber-cafe. We sneaked into a secluded room, where your mother agreed to a download from my hard drive.
As soon as I was ready to upload, we discovered that neither one of us had used a firewall, and since it was too late to hit the delete button, nine months later a little ‘Pop-Up’ appeared that said…..
You’ve got Male
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