Jokes.za.org

Little lucy wants to take Lulu her pet dog for a walk.

“Mommy , Mommy, Can I please take Lulu for a walk?”

“But she is on heat my darling”

“What does that mean?”

“I think you should go and ask your father, he is in the garage”

Little Lucy goes to her father.

“Daddy , Daddy, Can I please take lulu for a walk?” “I asked mommy ,but she said Lulu is on heat, I asked her what does that mean and she said I must come ask you.”

The father takes the dog and covers the dog in petrol

“Ok my dear you can take her for a walk, but make sure to keep her on the leash and only go around the block once”

The little girl now excited runs of with the dog

The little girl shortly returns with no dog

The father asks “Where is Lulu!?”

The little girl replies ” Oh don’t worry, half way around the block Lulu ran out of petrol so another dog is pushing her home!”

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Jannie is in Gr.1 en sy Engelsjuffrou het probleme met hom.  Jannie meen hy’s te slim vir Gr.1 en wil na Gr.3 oorgeplaas word. Sy suster is in Gr.3 en Jannie reken hy is baie slimmer as sy. Die juffrou het genoeg gehad en vat hom na die skoolhoof. Die hoof sê hy gaan Jannie toets. As hy druip,bly hy in Gr.1.

Hoof: “Wat is 3×3?”

Jannie: “9″

Hoof: “Wat is 6×6?’

Jannie : “36″

So gaan dit aan totdat die juffrou die hoof vra of sy nie maar vir Jannie `n paar vrae in Engels kan vra nie

Juffrou: “What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?”

Jannie: “Legs”

Juffrou: “What do you have in you pants that I don’t have?”

Jannie :”Pockets”

Juffrou: “What starts with a ‘C’ and ends with a ‘T’, is hairy, oval, delicious and contains a thin, whitish liquid?”

Die hoof vee die sweet van sy voorkop af

Jannie: “Coconut”

Juffrou: “What goes in hard and pink and comes out soft and sticky?”

Jannie :”Bubblegum”

Juffrou: “What does a man do standing up, a woman do sitting downand a dog does on three legs?”

Jannie: “Shake hands”

Juffrou: “Now I’ll ask some ‘Who am I sort of questions, okay?”

Jannie :”Yup”

Juffrou: “You stick your pole inside me. You tie me down to get me up. I get wet before you.”

Jannie: “A tent”

Juffrou: “A finger goes into me.You fiddle with me when you’re bored. The best man always has me first.”

Die hoof lyk baie gespanne.

Jannie: “wedding ring”

Juffrou: “I come in many sizes. When I’m not well I drip. When you blow me you feel good.”

Jannie :”Nose”

Juffrou: “I have a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates. I come with a quiver.”

Jannie :”Arrow”

Juffrou: “What starts with a F ends with a K that means a lot of excitement?”

Jannie: “firetruck”

Die hoof sê: “Sit die klein bliksem in Gr.5 Ek het die laaste 10 antwoorde verkeerd gehad!!!!!!!”

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Two young boys walked into a pharmacy one day, picked out a box of tampons and proceeded to the checkout counter.

The man at the counter asked the older boy, “Son, how old are you?”

“Eight,” the boy replied.

The man continued, “Do you know what these are used for?”

The boy replied, “not exactly, but they aren’t for me.  They’re for him.  He’s my brother.  He’s four.  We saw on TV that if you use these you would be able to swim and ride a bike.

Right now, he can’t do either.”

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Daddy, How was I born?

A little boy goes to his father and asks “Daddy, how was I born?”

The father answers, Well, son, I guess one day you will need to find out anyway! Your Mum and I first got together in a chat room on Yahoo.

Then I set up a date via email with your Mum and we met at a cyber-cafe. We sneaked into a secluded room, where your mother agreed to a download from my hard drive.

As soon as I was ready to upload, we discovered that neither one of us had used a firewall, and since it was too late to hit the delete button, nine months later a little ‘Pop-Up’ appeared that said…..

You’ve got Male

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A little girl goes to a pet shop and asks “excuthe me do you have any widdle wabbits?”

The shopkeeper’s heart melts, he gets down on his knees so that he is on her level and says “do you want a widdle white wabbit or a thoft fwuffy bwack wabbit, or one like that widdle bwown one over there?”

The little girl blushes, rocks back on her heels, puts her hands on her knees, leans forward and whispers,

“I don’t wealy fink my pyfon gives a phuc.”

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