Jokes.za.org

A man walked into a cafe, went to the bar and ordered a beer.

‘Certainly, Sir, that’ll be one cent.’

‘One Cent?’ the man exclaimed.

He glanced at the menu and asked: ‘How much for a nice juicy steak and a bottle of wine?’

‘A nickel,’ the barman replied.

‘A nickel?’ exclaimed the man. ‘Where’s the guy who owns this place?’

The bartender replied: ‘Upstairs, with my wife.’

The man asked: ‘What’s he doing upstairs with your wife?’

The bartender replied: ‘The same thing I’m doing to his business down here.’

written by

Van has a Petrol station in Poffadder and was trying to increase his sales. So he put up a sign that read, “Free Sex with every Fill-Up.”

Soon Koos pulled in, filled his tank and asked for his free sex. Van told him to pick a number from 1 to 10. If he guessed correctly he would get his free sex. Koos guessed 8 and Van said, “You were close. The number was 7. Sorry. No sex this time.”

A week later, Koos along with his buddy Frikkie, pulled in for another fill-up. Again he asked for his free sex. Van again asked him to guess the correct number. He guessed 2 this time. Van said, “Sorry, it was 3. You were close, but no free sex this time.”

As they were driving away, Koos said to Frikkie, “I think that game is rigged and he doesn’t really give away free sex.” Frikkie replied, ” Nooooit, it’s not rigged. My wife won twice last week.”

written by

A little old lady answered a knock on the door one day, only to be

confronted by a well-dressed young man carrying a vacuum cleaner.

“Good morning,” said the young man.

“If I could take a couple minutes of your time,

I would like to demonstrate the very latest in high-powered

vacuum cleaners.!!”

“F*** off!” said the old lady. “I haven’t got any money” and she

proceeded to close the door.

Quick as a flash, the young man wedged his foot in the door and pushed it wide open.

“Don’t be too hasty!” he said.

“Not until you have at least seen my demonstration.

” And with that, he emptied a bucket of horse sh*t all over her hallway carpet.

“If this vacuum cleaner does not remove all traces of this horse sh*t from

your carpet, Madam, I will personally eat the remainder.”

“Well,” she said, “I hope you’ve got a f***ing good appetite, because Eskom

cut the electricity this morning!!!”

written by