A Zimbabwean, a Nigerian, and van der Merwe’s daughter are in the same bar.
When the Zimbabwean finishes his beer, he throws his glass in the air, pulls out his pistol, and shoots the glass to pieces. He says, ‘In Zimbabwe , our glasses are so cheap we don’t need to drink with the same one twice.’
The Nigerian, obviously impressed by this, drinks his beer, throws it into the air, pulls out his AK-47, and shoots the glass to pieces. He says, ‘In Nigeria , we have so much stolen money to make glasses that we don’t need to drink with the same one twice either.’
Van der Merwe’s daughter, cool as a cucumber, picks up her beer, downs it in one gulp, throws the glass into the air, whips out her 45, and shoots the Zimbabwean and the Nigerian. Catching her glass, placing it back on the bar counter, and calling for a refill, she says,
‘In South Africa we have so many illegal aliens that we don’t have to drink with the same ones twice.’
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Van boarded an aircraft in New York and took his seat. As he settled in,
he noticed a very beautiful woman boarding the plane. He realized she was
heading straight towards his seat. Bingo! She took the seat right beside
him. Eager to strike up a conversation, he blurted out, “Business trip or
vacation?”
She turned, smiled enchantingly and said, “Business. I’m going to the
Annual Nymphomaniac Convention in France .”
He swallowed hard. Struggling to maintain his composure, he calmly asked,
“What’s your business role at this convention?”
“Lecturer,” she responded. “I use my experience to debunk some of the
popular myths about sexuality.”
“Really,” he smiled, “What myths are those?”
“Well,” she explained, “one popular myth is that African American men are
the most well endowed when, in fact, it’s the Native American Indian who
is most likely to possess that trait. Another popular myth is that French
men are the best lovers, when actually it is the men of Indian descent. We
have found that the best potential lovers in all categories are the
Afrikaners.”
Suddenly the woman became uncomfortable and blushed. “I’m sorry,” she
said, “I really shouldn’t be discussing this with you; I don’t even know
your name.”
“Running Bear,” the Van said….”Running Bear Moodley, but my friends call
me Frikkie van der Merwe.”
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Van has a Petrol station in Poffadder and was trying to increase his sales.
So he put up a sign that read, “Free Sex with Fill-Up.”
Soon a local ‘Dutchie’ pulled in, filled his tank and asked for his free sex.
Van told him to pick a number from 1 to 10.
If he guessed correctly he would get his free sex.
The ‘ Dutchie’ guessed 8, and Van said,
“You were close. The number was 7. Sorry. No sex this time.”
A week later, the same “dutchie’ , along with his buddy Koos, and
pulled in for another fill-up. Again he asked for his free sex.
Van again asked him to guess the correct number.
He guessed 2 this time.
Van said, “Sorry, it was 3. You were close, but no free sex this time.”
As they were driving away, the ‘Dutchie’ said to his buddy Koos,
“I think that game is rigged and he doesn’t really give away free sex.”
Koos replied, ” Nooooit, it’s not rigged bru. My wife won twice last week.”
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