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Dear diary, I am a simple man, I don’t smoke, drink or go out to night clubs. I am Loyal to my wife and don’t flirt with a strange woman. I go to sleep at eight O’clock and wake up early. I exercise daily and work regular hours. but all this will change as soon as I get out of jail !
Little lucy wants to take Lulu her pet dog for a walk. “Mommy , Mommy, Can I please take Lulu for a walk?” “But she is on heat my darling” “What does that mean?” “I think you should go and ask your father, he is in the garage” Little Lucy goes to her father. “Daddy , Daddy, Can I please take lulu for a walk?” “I asked mommy ,but she said Lulu is on heat, I asked her what does that mean and she said I must come ask you.” The father takes the dog and covers the dog in petrol “Ok my dear you can take her for a walk, but make sure to keep her on the leash and only go around the block once” The little girl now excited runs of with the dog The little girl shortly returns with no dog The father asks “Where is Lulu!?” The little girl replies ” Oh don’t worry, half way around the block Lulu ran out of petrol so another dog is pushing her home!”
They were holding hands at the pigsty in the sheltering shadow of the manure heap. “I tell you, Cait , I bet you’ve been out with worse lookin’ fellas nor me me.’ SILENCE. “I said, Cait, that I bet you’ve been out with . . .’ “SHUT UP, I’m thinking.”
“Did you hear that I’m engaged to an Irish lad?” “Oh, really! “No, O’Reilley
An Irish alibi is the proof that you were in two places at once. |
