Jokes.za.org

A quickie in the bushes

There are two statues in a park; one of a nude man and one of a nude woman. They had been facing each other across a pathway for a hundred years, when one day an angel comes down from the sky and, with a single gesture, brings the two to life..

The angel tells them, ‘As a reward for being so patient through a hundred blazing summers and dismal winters, you have been given life for thirty Minutes to do what you’ve wished to do the most.’

He looks at her, she looks at him, and they go running behind the shrubbery.

The angel waits patiently as the bushes rustle and giggling ensues. After fifteen minutes, the two return, out of breath and laughing.

The angel tells them, ‘Um, you have fifteen minutes left, would you care to do it again?’

He asks her ‘Shall we?’ She eagerly replies, ‘Oh, yes, let’s! But let’s change positions. This time, I’ll hold the pigeon down and you shit on its head.’

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Two young boys walked into a pharmacy one day, picked out a box of tampons and proceeded to the checkout counter.

The man at the counter asked the older boy, “Son, how old are you?”

“Eight,” the boy replied.

The man continued, “Do you know what these are used for?”

The boy replied, “not exactly, but they aren’t for me.  They’re for him.  He’s my brother.  He’s four.  We saw on TV that if you use these you would be able to swim and ride a bike.

Right now, he can’t do either.”

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80 yr old man: My 28 yr old wife is pregnant, your opinion Doctor?

Doctor: Let me tell you a story. A hunter in a hurry grabs an umbrella instead of the gun. He moves into the jungle, sees a lion, lifts the umbrella, pulls the handle and BANG… The lion drops dead!

Old man: That’s impossible; someone else must have shot the lion.

Doctor: MY POINT EXACTLY!

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Jannie het elke oggend met ‘n blou oog by die skool aangekom. Die juffrou het vir hom gevra hoekom sy oog blou is.  Jannie se antwoord was:

“Ons bly in ‘n klein huisie en ek en my ma en my pa slaap in een bed. Elke aand vra my pa vir my, ” Jannie, slaap jy al? ” , dan se ek ” Nee, pa ” en dan slaan my pa my en gee my ‘n blou oog ” .

Die Juffrou se toe vir Jannie, ” As jou pa jou weer vra, dan bly jy doodstil. ” Die volgende dag het Jannie nie ‘n blou oog nie,  toe se hy vir die Juffrou dat hy stil gebly het. Maar die dag daarna het Jannie weer ‘n blou oog. Die juffrou vra toe vir Jannie ” Hoekom het jy dan weer ‘n blou oog? ”

Hy vertel toe vir die Juffrou:” Pa het gevra…’Jannie slaap jy’?, maar toe bly ek doodstil. Pa en ma het toe gewoel in die bed.

Toe vra pa vir ma: ” Kom jy? ” toe se ma, ” Ja… kom jy ook? ” , toe se pa ” Ja ” , en toe se ek:

” Wag vir my, ek kom ook, ek wil net gou my slippertjies aantrek. “

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